Can Christian Singles Romance?

Can Christian Singles Romance?

Yes! No! Or Maybe!

Honestly, I wonder why I am writing this article. However, since I am getting a nudging from my spirit and I don’t feel uneasy about this, let me see what I could do. Just like some of Apostle Paul’s personal principles and suggestions (see 1Cor 7), I am not stating this opinion of mine as a Christian Spiritual principle, but I am sure that if you follow me, you would agree with me that Single Christians can, cannot and may not romance. Mind you, you are entitled to your own opinion.

First things first. And that means clarification of the concept romance. What is romance? I asked one of my Friends – Tola while we were amongst others one evening in the kitchen “if Christian Singles could romance?” Without any hesitation, thinking, pondering or sigh, she said a huge No!

Encarta Dictionary says amongst its much definition that romance is “physical love: sexual love, especially when the other person or the relationship is idealized or when it is exciting and intense.”  Under its Thesaurus, it is “allure, excitement…feeling, sensation…sense of excitement…. According to the same Thesaurus Dictionary, allure means “attraction, appeal, draw, pull (informal), magnetism, charm, glamor, fascination, charisma.”Taking all these meanings into consideration, what is your position regarding the question. Are you saying yes or no or maybe?

Let’s start with the last which is maybe. This has to do with your definition of what romance is. And this is either because you don’t have a full understanding of it or that you are indifferent about it. If you say no, it will definitely be because you see romance as a sexual activity e.g. foreplay (the play you play to set the mood for sex). To me (and I am sure your pastor and Apostle Paul of the Bible also agrees with me that), foreplay is a sexual activity.

Foreplay includes French kissing, necking, smooching, caressing, fondling genitals, sexting, etc. This can as well be regarded as fornication, because of the standard for relationship with the opposite sex which Jesus has set in Matthew 5:28 thus “But I say unto you, that whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart”.

Activities like hugging, holding hands and gentle strokes of hair in private rooms or compartment like the back seat of a car in the dark would not pass as foreplay but would pass as highways  to foreplay and as such, risky. By this, I do not categorically mean that hugging, holding of hands and gentle strokes of the hair is fornication. My point is; doing those things in dark or lonely places with a person you have chemistry for is risky because it is highway (predisposes you) to foreplay.

Romance will simply mean doing and saying things which make the other person feel loved, special, only, accepted, cared for and wanted.

Critical Thinking

If I’m dating a girl, or engaged to a lady, and I hold her hands on the streets, and hug her before my friends and call her every day at a particular hour (taking into consideration that every time you call or receive the call of a person you are attached to and have chemistry for, you feel some sensational, emotional excitement), and if I get to help her fix those strands of hair that the breeze has put out of place, what would you call that? Fornication? I will call that romance.

Don’t forget the definitions earlier quoted. I am of no doubt whatsoever that holding of hands, calling, texting, chatting, being together always with another person of the opposite sex, hugging, pecking, buy and exchanging gifts, going out to programmes and places  together with the person you are attracted to or who you have a private unique relationship with is romance! And if this is romance, Single Christians cannot only romance, but I doggedly say that Christian Singles in a relationship(s) romance!

 

No two people can marry without romance; impossible, unless one or both of them were forced/compelled to marry the other. The act of proposing marriage, accepting proposal, visiting families, choosing wedding dates and all that happens between when the attraction started till after the marriage terminates is romance.

 

However, is this romance good, healthy and recommended? Yes! Yes! and Yes! again. According to Rob (and I agree with him), two people of the opposite sex, who want to know each other better to know if they could marry or not, must share and have sexual attraction for each other. This attraction is what makes them to do everything they can to ensure the relationship work and grow into marriage. This attraction, according to him, is what makes it easy to forgive and overlook, because something is alluring (pulling, attracting, drawing, magneting, charming, fascinating and appealing-to) you. Therefore, it won’t be wrong, or sin, for such a couple to hold hands, hug, always be together, call each other, chat together, exchange gifts, visit each other while sharing an attraction. And all this is romance. The trouble is that such a couple must always know that without boundaries, such acts are highways to foreplay which most times lead to sex.

How to Set the Boundaries and Enjoy a Happy Relationship

1. Avoid dark and secret places.
2. Avoid being alone together in a room and if you are caught up in this situation, DON’T YOU DARE TRY TO attempt physical intimacy (contact) – hold each other, etc.

 

Don’t forget that –

It is your relationship with Jesus that makes every other of your relationship sweet, for without God, man is nothing and without His help, our relationship is nothing but hell. And…

We would like to know your opinion or have your questions on this matter. So, drop your comment on the comment box below. We will be glad to discuss further. Besides, we give free counselling at the Alright’s Passion courtesy of our partners.