Move with the Cheese

This was a class at the Romance Cafe Whatsapp group on Valentine’s Day, 2020.

I have always wondered about two major problems many people face;

1. The inability to end an unhealthy relationship ;
2. The inability to move on after ending a bad relationship
3. The inability to end an unhealthy relationship:

Many people are too sentimental; they feel it is wrong to hurt another person even if the relationship is killing them. Some feel that every relationship can work if they do more. True, every relationship can work if both parties work at and on it not if only one person thinks he or she is the magician that would make it work. Some feel that they are not supposed to have more than one relationship so even if the Relationship or marriage is killing them, they would be forcing themselves to stay in it. If the cheese is outta your relationship and the relationship is killing you, getting worse day by day, Sis, there is no law that says you must remain in the relationship or marriage.

2. The inability to move on after ending a bad relationship:

Sometimes it is fear, other times, it is just one unhealthy ego and pride. Some folks refuse to go into any other relationship or marriage just because they feel;

1. Every guy/babe is the same, so all relationships are the same;
2. They are unlucky, cursed and unfortunate, so they cannot get a great relationship;
3. They don’t think and don’t even want to make the effort to love again the way they loved before;
4. They wouldn’t want to give another person the opportunity to hurt them again – no more vulnerability.

How many of you remember the class; Love is vulnerable, but use sense? Love deeply! That is your rule, which is the policy even if it is your 10th relationship. I was telling someone some time ago that for every relationship I entered, I loved and gave myself more to every relationship than I did to the previous ones. Many people usually say, “I can never love another the way I loved her”. You can, you only choose not to either because of fear, pride or an unhealed hurt. In essence, you have so much work to do to your inner person.

Have you heard people who remain in abusive relationships and marriages even unto the point of death? They either feared that they could not get another person or worried that they are supposed to remain in one. Then that dumb thinking of; “I said I was going to marry my first love”, “I said I was going to marry whoever took my virginity” etc. Mhen, stop that mummy thing abeg!

“If you stayed in the relationship just to have a Val for today, your sense is not well. If you stayed in the marriage just to remain “Mrs” or not to be called “a divorcee”, your sense needs Toluse Dove Francis’ soft touch…No! Teacher Ada’s resetting slap!”

 MOVE! If you are in a bad relationship, M O V E.

If you are single because you were in a bad relationship and you don’t want to enter another relationship again, MOVE. Your best days and choices are yet to come, the best of men and women aren’t in your past, God doesn’t run a limited company, He is a multi-trillionaire in good men and great women.

Love deeply and if it fails, call it life and love deeply again.

God bless Nigeria (good people, great nation)

My name is Earl, and I am Alright.

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You rock!